(owl flying and hooting)

Dad: What's this? A letter at this time of night?

Mom: Who is it for?

Harry: Hey it's probably for me because I'm so important.

Dad: It says here that it addressed to Ned.

Ned: Yay! Mail for me! Yay! I've been invited to learn how to become a wizard at Hogwarts!

Dad: Give it here. That's not what it says. It says that you've been diagnosed with Hogwarts, the disease.

Ned: The what now?


Ned: Oh! What's happening to (oinking) me?

(laughter and squealing)